


i don't know you yet

by youngwolf



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: M/M, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, its soft, so soft!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:07:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25414417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngwolf/pseuds/youngwolf
Summary: a zuko-centric zukka fic i frantically wrote in my notes at 2am and didn’t edit…have it. enjoy.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 111





	i don't know you yet

( _How can you miss someone you’ve never seen? | Oh, tell me are your eyes brown, blue, or green?_ )

Zuko’s ten and he already feels out of place in the palace, in his home, with his family. His mother loves him, but his father doesn’t and his sister is his father’s daughter.

He’s a prince and still…something is missing. Something is wrong with him, he’s never enough. Never smart enough, never powerful enough, never talented enough…never good enough.

The turtleduck pond is the only place he can sit in peace more often than not. Turtleducks don’t care how good little princes are at firebending, they just want the bread crumbs in his hand. He wonders then…will anyone ever want him, just for him? He’s never met someone who loves him for no reason other than because they want to. With turtleducks quacking at him, he daydreams of this mystery person. Are their eyes brown, blue, or green?

( _But can you find me soon because I’m in my head? | I need you now but I don’t know you yet_ )

Zuko’s fourteen and he’s still learning, but he’s beginning to see…he is loved. It’s only his uncle, but it’s more than he had. His mother left, but Uncle stayed when he didn’t have to. It still doesn’t fill that missing something within him…nothing ever does.

He spends his days in banishment searching, and searching, and searching. Every night he finds nothing, he lays awake far after the moon has risen. He thinks about his childhood fantasies of a mysterious person coming along and loving him out of it all. How foolish he was, to think he’d had it bad when he had childhood freedoms and a loving mother.

Yet, those daydreams slip back in. He’s alone now, with no one but Uncle at his side. Despite reasoning how childish it is, when the moon rises, his mind drifts to them. He hopes they find him soon. He’s so far gone he’s not sure if love will bring him peace, but he thinks it might.

Every day passes and he doesn’t find that love, so he clings to the Avatar, to his honour. If he can’t be loved back, he’ll prove to his father, to everyone, he is honourable and deserving of his crown. He’ll show them all.

( _And do you like it with sugar and cream? | Or do you take it straight, oh, just like me?_ )

Zuko’s sixteen now and the Avatar is back and honour is within his grasp. He’s so close to going to the home that was never his, to the father that never wanted him, to the sister who’s hunted him. He wants that, he tells himself every time Uncle talks about staying in Ba Sing Se. He wants that, he tells himself every time he gets a little too comfortable taking tea orders and responding to customers calling out to “Lee”.

He wants to return home, he has to keep reminding himself. When he doesn’t remind himself that, his mind wanders to the domesticity of life in Ba Sing Se. He thinks of how many people he meets, he wonders if any of them will bring him love. With nearly every order, he wonders what tea they like best and how they take it. He imagines meeting someone as a tea server and he concocts fantasies of his life with the mysterious tea customer he hasn’t met yet.

( _‘Cause lately it’s been hard | They’re sellin’ me for parts | And I don’t wanna be modern art_ )

Zuko’s sixteen and he’s finally home. Mai loves him, like she did when they were kids, but it still feels like something’s missing. His father respects him and Azula is by his side rather than in front of him, but something is missing.

The days in the palace are harder…somehow harder than his days chasing the Avatar. He tells himself it’s Uncle. Uncle isn’t here, that’s why everything feels wrong. It’s not true though. He misses Ba Sing Se and the tea shop and his mystery tea customer. How can he miss someone he’s never met?

The longer he’s there, the worse he feels. He’s being paraded about, shown off like some piece of modern art. He’s the prince, redeemed, returned, his honour restored. He’s not Zuko, but a collection of parts to be used. It feels wrong and the Day of the Black Sun, when he can finally run, something feels right for the first time in too long.

( _But I only got half a heart to give to you | And I hope it’s enough_ )

Zuko’s still sixteen when he changes sides, when he makes the right decision, when he makes his first real friends, when he betrays everything he’s ever known. It all happens so fast, but he finally feels like everything is how it should be when he sits under the stars with his friends, ready to save the world.

Maybe it wasn’t a tea customer, but a boy from the Water Tribe. Maybe he’s got blue eyes and takes his tea with two scoops of sugar. Maybe…maybe Zuko finally met the boy he’s been missing his whole life. He’s been through so much and he’s only got half a heart, but he hopes it’s enough.

(And maybe, just maybe, it’s more than enough for that boy.)


End file.
